Complicated Feelings
by MistyShadowz
Summary: <html><head></head>When Esme leaves Carlisle Zoey seems like the only one their 4 him.But when will they stop denying their feelingz? And will it effect Zoeys friendship with the rest of the cullenz if it goes any thurther? Plz read & comment! :  x</html>


Hey guys hope you enjoy this is my first book its long but it's good!

"Hey Zoey, you look kinda pale, are you ok?" Said Alice, My best friend.

"Yeah I'm fine I just feel a little warm and dizzy."

"Do you need some fresh air and a glass of water?"

"No I'm sure I'm fine..." The room was getting darker and I was beginning to lose sight of Alice. After that it happened so fast. Everything disappeared. I fell. And all I could hear was people shouting my name. Before I couldn't hear anything at all.

I woke up in Alice's room. I could hear people talking, so I didn't open my eyes. I soon realized that those people were Carlisle and Esme.I didn't want to listen into other people's conversation, but this one was important, and slightly interesting.

"Esme, if you tell me what's wrong, we can easily sort it out. But you won't even tell me why you're so unhappy."I could hear Carlisle's voice was slightly strained. And I automatically knew what this conversation was about.

"I want to be with Edward, Carlisle. I do feel sorry for Bella but I want to be with him. He has no one right now; Bella has everyone to help her through the breakup. I'm not happy. And I want to be. But what you have offered is not enough for me anymore. I'm sorry." The door closed and my eyes snapped open. Carlisle was sitting on the bed beside me. Staring at the now closed door.

"Carlisle."I sat up and he turned around and stared at me. "Don't worry about it known that it was coming. She has been unhappy for a while now. So it had to happen at some point."His voice was soft and strong. But I knew what he was going through.

"Carlisle."It seemed as though that was all I could say. I leaned over and hugged him. And after a few seconds had passed he returned the hug. We were there for a while, and then slowly broke apart. My heart was pounding. I had never noticed the feelings I had for him that were buried deep down inside, But I was beginning to realize them.

Zoey's Diary:

It's weird without Esme, nobody was surprised when she left. Like they all knew it was gonna happen. And with Alice around, they probably did know. We all decided we were gonna be strong about it though. For Carlisle. I feel really bad about all this. I think I'm feeling for him...

"Hey guys."I said as I entered the living room. Everyone was just sitting there, not speaking or anything. "Why are we so quiet?"

"Hey Zoe!" Alice said, bounding towards me. She gave me a quick hug, and then just smiled.

"Guys is this about Carlisle and Esme?" I looked around and that was when everyone looked up at me. "We have to be strong, remember? For Carlisle. He just wants to go back to normal which is something he can't do unless we act normal too. We _are_ gonna get through this." Everybody nodded. And as I glanced around the room I noticed that Carlisle was halfway down the spiraled stairs, listening into our conversation. He was watching me carefully, smiling at every word I had said. So I carried on. "Its gonna be hard, but I know that we can work this out together."

"I agree!" Alice said, putting her hand high in the air. (Which wasn't very high, no offence to Alice!)

"Alice you agree with everything." I had butterflies in my stomach. Because I knew Carlisle was watching. I had a sudden wave of desire, desire to make him laugh, and a desire to impress him.

"I know. And I am agreeing with this too." She grinned at me. So I grinned back. Carlisle began to walk down the stairs again, so we all started talking and laughing, and I went in the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. Carlisle followed, smiling at the people in the living room as he went.

"Thank you." He said when we were out of ear shot. His eyes stared deep into mine. But I didn't look up.

"For what?" I asked. Even though I already knew what for.

"Trying to help me. Encouraging them to act normal and helping everyone get through our losses. It's hard when we lose a family member. Losing two is harder. But I'm glad you're around to keep us all on track." He smiled and held out his arms for a hug. I hugged him, and then kissed him on the cheek. His skin soft and cold against my lips.

"I'm only trying to help you. I want you all to be happy." I said softly. Then I was surprised by what happened next. He kissed me back. But on the lips... I didn't know what to do. But all the feelings that I had been denying suddenly burst their way out and I found myself kissing him back. When we broke apart, we stared at each other for a long moment. Silently. I quickly turned around and began to butter my toast. Carlisle didn't move. He was still trying to get a grip on what just happened. What he had just done. I thrust the knife into the sink and then grabbed my toast. I turned around towards him.

"What, just happened...?" He asked. His eyes never leaving mine.

"I don't know. But you might wanna ask yourself that." I stroked the side of his face and then walked out. Leaving him standing there.

"What did he want you for? What were you talking about?" Asked Emmett and Alice almost immediately.

"He just wanted to thank me for keeping it all together instead of falling apart. And helping us all get back on the right track. He was on the stairs earlier so he heard our conversation." I smiled.

"So he knows our plan now then." Rosalie said. She grinned at me and we both giggled. For no apparent reason! We stopped a little when Carlisle entered but Rosalie smirked and started laughing silently. Then she set me off. So we were just in fits of giggles.

"What you guys laughing at?" Carlisle grinned, mainly watching me. "I don't know!" I spluttered. I was aware that my face had gone red, but I didn't care.

It was night time. And I was in Alice's room again. Id slept here for the last week. As I sat cross legged on the bed reading my book, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in its open." I said. I watched as the door as it creaked open, curious to know who wanted to speak to me at this time. But I guess I should have known. Carlisle.

"We need to sort this out." He said when the door had closed.

"What is there to sort out?" I asked, looking back down at my book.

"What had happened earlier in the kitchen? How can you forget about it? I've been thinking about you all day." He sat down on the bed in front of me.

"I have that effect on people." I said happily, closing my book and placing it carefully next to me.

"I wish I could joke about it as much as you can. I suppose I'm more serious than you are about this situation."

"I'm not a serious person. And are you sure that _were _the ones in the situation? I'm pretty sure the one in the situation is _you._"

"How'd you come by that?" He asked, clearly puzzled. I shuffled closer.

"If you have feelings for me Carlisle then you're obviously denying them. This means _you _are in the situation. Cos I've already accepted _my_ feelings."

"Fine, I will admit it. I do love you. Now what?" Carlisle said. He watched me carefully while I thought. He was right. What _do _we do now?

"I don't know." I said blankly. Staring at nothing.

"I don't know either." He was still watching me with the same longing gaze he had when we were in the kitchen, just before he had kissed me.

"Well nobody can blame you cos you are going through a hard time right now and I probably seemed like the only one holding it all together and for that exact moment I was." I blurted out quickly. "Although I will give you _some _credit, Dr. Cullen you are a great kisser." He returned my smile. I remembered that I had shuffled closer to him earlier but I couldn't be bothered moving anymore. We looked into each other's eyes and found ourselves moving in closer. Our lips were inches away but we both opened our eyes to the sound of knocking. Before I had chance to move away Carlisle had quickly moved over again for a quick kiss. _I really do love this man._ I thought. And for a moment there I really was glad Edward could not read my mind. I moved so close to Carlisle that we both tumbled back. Me lying against him.

"Zoey!" Alice chanted my name. "Are you in there?" I immediately opened my eyes and leaned up against him. I quickly kissed him again then jumped up. I scattered feathers along the floor then told him to stand up quickly. I handed him a pillow and put a few feathers on his head, which I can tell you know looked random cos you don't see him walking around with feathers on his head very often! I threw some at myself and walked towards the door, pillow in hand. You can't blame me though, I was too dazed to think of something better!

"Hey Alice! Come in." I walked to the side and let her stroll in. She took one glance at Carlisle and then laughed. She looked at me with a questioning smile on her face. "Carlisle came in and we ended up having a pillow fight. Hold on I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I walked onto the landing. I heard Carlisle say something then came out to join me.

"We should tell her." He said slowly. "I think we should tell everyone." My heart started beating faster.

"Tell everyone what?" I replied.

"Zoe were obviously in love so I..." He stopped mid sentence and looked at me. I had an itching to kiss him. I did so quickly and silently, and then pulled back just as fast.

"Sorry. Carry on." I said sheepishly. He smiled.

"So I was thinking we sit them all down together and tell them we might be... you know... dating." He watched my careful reaction. Then my eyes widened as I realized what he had just said.

"Were going out!" I whispered.

"I don't know are we?" He looked panicky.

"Of course! Yes!" I whispered happily. I kissed him then agreed we would tell Alice first. We walked back into the room where Alice was waiting.

"Hey people!" She grinned.

"Hey Alice." I murmured.

"Wow wow wow! What's going on dude what's wrong!"

"Me and Carlisle need to tell you something." Something in her eyes made me think she already knew.

"Oh my days. You guys _are_ together?" She asked, her eyes wide.

"Erm, Yeah, but Alice how did you...?"

"Know? Simple." She pointed to her head. And I instantly knew what she meant. Visions.

"There's no escaping you is there Alice."

"Nope." She smiled happily then bounded out the room.

"She's gonna go and tell." I told Carlisle. We both looked at each other and then swiftly followed her down the stairs. Everyone stared at us and then Rosalie suddenly came forward. I thought she was gonna say something bad but she just hugged me and smiled.

"Emmett you're grinning like a lunatic." I laughed. It was weird how Rosalie liked me more than she liked Bella. Why? I had no idea.

"Well I'm glad this worked out." Carlisle said happily.

"Me too!" I replied. It was good to know that everyone was ok about it. And it was a relief to know we could stop sneaking around.

Hope you enjoyed please no harsh comments!


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